Saturday, June 03, 2006

Day Two

When I look at my last posting, I have a hard time thinking of replacing it. It describes a pivotal moment in my life, the lives of my children, and a time when the world changed for everyone who knew C. I have such conflicting feelings right now. Part of me wants to hold everything that was C close to my chest and never let go. Part of me recognizes that letting go is probably the healthiest thing I can do. I, and my children, have to find a new way, a new life, a new arrangement. We no longer will be four at the dinner table.

I find myself exhausted but unable to fully rest. I wander through the house picking things up and putting them down. I clean up out of habit. I can’t concentrate. I trust all of this is normal after going through the experiences of the last few days and that I will slowly return to a better functioning level.

Everyone around me has been super. Relatives have come to the house every day and prepared food. I feel like I am sleepwalking and that people are tenderly moving objects out of my way so that I don’t hurt myself. Even my children are taking extra care with me. That alone tells me that I must present a sorry sight.

Thanks to all who have left a comment about C. She clearly touched many lives and her memory will live on in those who knew her.

I will go now because my eyes are “juicy” – a term that K coined when she was about three.

Peace,

Phaedrous

4 Comments:

Blogger greekchickie said...

I am so very sorry for your loss. I've been reading your blog for a while & I've been sending you all my thoughts & prayers.

Peace to you, your wife & your family.

Sincerely,
Marianna
greekchickie.blogspot.com

3:19 PM, June 03, 2006  
Blogger lime said...

there is no hurry. no one can tell you how to grieve. you just have to do it your own way in your own time. you are blessed to have family and children who seem to understand what you need and simply provide it. their response is part of the process for them too.

7:23 AM, June 05, 2006  
Blogger Osbasso said...

My condolences to you and your family. Thanks for stopping by to let me know...

4:08 PM, June 05, 2006  
Blogger Phaedrous said...

Thank you all. I appreciate hearing from you. It really does make a difference.

P.

10:42 AM, June 06, 2006  

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