O2 4 U

In keeping with my new pattern of frequent updates, here is the latest.

C continues to grow weaker. We have started giving her a flow of oxygen to help with a shortness of breath problem. Nausea continues to be our chief problem and one that appears unstoppable. We have tried all of the known methods, both drugs and wristbands. The best we can do is to try to make the intervals between nausea sessions as long as possible.

She is spending most of her time in a sort of sleep state where she is often restless. She will talk to people she sees in this state, sometimes in short mumbles, sometimes in long, complete sentences. She will sometimes “wake” from these sessions, say something to whomever is sitting in the room, and go back to her eyelid movies. She often feels like she has to go to the bathroom, but has difficulty in doing so.

Her periods of lucidity (or what appears as such to those of us on this side of the membrane) are getting further and further apart. She is clearly nearing the end of this life. She knows it. We know it. She is ready. We are not so much ready as we do not wish to see her hurting anymore.

Last night, we had another group dinner. My brother, P, from New York was in town on his way home from a Duluth visit. C’s sister Pat and her guy Dave were there. I grilled ribs over a slow fire for about four hours while other family members stopped by over the course of the afternoon.

As we were getting the table ready and folks started to sit down, C surprised us by asking to be taken out to the table in her wheelchair. We quickly rearranged the settings so she could sit at the head of the table and share a little food with us. It was a nice moment. She was clearly struggling however and we had to make our way back to the bedroom after a few minutes so she could lay down.

So it goes. We take what moments are given to us.

P.