Wednesday, November 22, 2006

You Can't Make This Up

Every Wednesday, there is a special "local" section in my morning paper that is devoted to just the northern suburbs of this metro area. One of the high points of my week is reading the Police Reports for the area to see if I can identify the nocturnal and unusual activities of any of my neighbors. Today's batch was outstanding and I just have to share. You can't make this shit up.

First, from the "you can't be too dumb" section:

Fraud. A caller in the 1xxxx block of NW. Gxxxxxxxx Street reported that her 93-year-old mother had gotten a phone call informing her that she'd won $5.5 million in a sweepstakes, but that she'd need to wire $250 to somebody in Kingston, Jamaica before the check could be sent. The caller wired the money on her mother's behalf. Later, when the check didn't arrive, the daughter called back and was told to wire $300 more. She sent the money, but still the check did not come. She called again and was told to send $2,000. At that point, she suspected fraud and called police, who told her to contact the Minnesota Attorney General's Office.

Theft. A woman forgot her coin purse, which contained credit cards, at Olive Garden, 1xx NW. Coon Rapids Blvd. By the time she returned to the restaurant to look for it the next morning, it was gone and somebody had already used her ATM card to withdraw $500. The woman explained to police that she'd forgotten her PIN number, so she'd written it on a sticker on the back of the card.

Econ 101:

Shoplifting. At a gas station in the 2xx block of 57th Avenue, a woman said she wanted to pre-pay for gas and gave the clerk a $10 bill. Then, a woman who'd come into the store with her grabbed two quarts of motor oil and put them in her purse. The women ran out of the store and left without getting gas. The motor oil was valued at $6.

From the "we trust our neighbors" catagory:

Burglary. Somebody stole $10,000 worth of property from an unlocked townhouse in the sub-100 block of Round Lake Trail.

From the "fugitive" files:

Theft. Hunting clothes and one hunting boot were taken from a vehicle in the 5400 block of Erickson Road. (police are on the lookout for a one-legged armed man in blaze orange)

And finally, a new kind of exchange program:

Theft. A vehicle was stolen from White Bear Dodge, 3xx Hwy. xx, and another stolen vehicle was left behind.


Blogger Sister Spikey Mace of Desirable Mindfulness said...

Criminal masterminds, I tell ya.

9:15 AM, November 22, 2006  
Blogger Tommy said...

Happy Thanksgiving from a long time lurker. May your holidays be filled with joy ... you deserve it.

2:42 PM, November 22, 2006  
Blogger Tiffanie said...

Happy Thanksgiving - Your pie looks fabulous by the way.

3:17 PM, November 22, 2006  
Blogger Queen of Ass said...

I think these people graduated from my high school!

4:01 PM, November 22, 2006  
Blogger Cheesy said...

"At that point, she suspected fraud and called police"

lol ya think?

6:24 PM, November 22, 2006  
Blogger lime said...

you're right, if you made this stuff up no one would believe you. shockingly stupid.

dafe travels and may you and yours have a lovely thanksgiving

6:32 PM, November 22, 2006  
Blogger lime said...


6:32 PM, November 22, 2006  
Blogger jules said...

And which one was YOU???

12:30 PM, November 23, 2006  

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