Past, Present, Future

There are days when time collapses upon itself and one feels as if one is a spider perched at the center of a web where each strand is a dimension or a lifeline that passes through time. Memories pluck the strands in one direction and plans ping them in another. These are nexus points and occasionally, we are aware when we are positioned in one. This is one of those times.

I sit here, in my bedroom looking out on a winter scene of snow and hibernation. The oak trees that surround my house are dormant for the winter. The wetland that houses the froggie chorus is now a treeless flat spot covered in snow with sedge grass poking through, the swamp life sleeping below, buried deep in the mud.

I can hear the sound of the HVAC system blowing moisturized air through the duct work in an attempt to counterbalance the dryness of the winter air. I see the exhaust fog from the boiler drifting past my window as it heats the water that warms the floors and we take comfort from that in cold times.

It is a sunny day here for a change. We have had a fair amount of snow so far this winter as opposed to recent years. I could actually strap on my cross country skis and go for a stride around the lake and maybe I will later on. This place is full of trails through the woods and around the lakes where one is frequently surprised by the company of deer, wild turkeys, fox, or even the rare sighting of a coyote. It is a pretty place and I will miss it.

I have decided to move, you see. I am going back to the town where I grew up and where half of my family still resides. It too is a beautiful place, but in a much different way.

The reasons for this decision are many, but it was one that was not easy to make. It will mean severe disruption for my little family. My daughter would rather this not happen as she is in her final year of high school and is making plans for college. In fact, I suspect she would rather I never move, or pack up her things, or change her world in any way. I can understand that. She is facing her own nexus points and there are some struggles there for her. Now, my plans have added to her own.

My son, on the other hand, is looking forward to this. He is ready for a bit of a fresh start without the baggage that he carries now. We will make the actual move sometime this summer, in time for him to enroll for his sophomore year of high school.

Hopefully the timing will work out on the housing side too. I have decided to buy my mother's house from her as she has decided that it is time to move to an apartment in a nearby senior complex. The house that she is in now is a stone's throw away from the house I grew up in. It is a duplex designed by the physician who then had it built and occupied it until my parents bought it many years ago. It has not seen much in the way of updating since it was built so I have a bit to do in that regard. My hope is to get all of that done before mid-summer so that we can make the move in plenty of time for school registration.

Of course, there is the problem of what to do with my current abode. This is not the best of times to be selling a house, but then again, we don't always get to choose our timing or our path. So there will be a bit of casting fate to the wind on my part and a hope that someone will come along and fall in love with our little southwestern casa in the woods.

In fact, if you, or someone you know is looking for just such a place in our neck of the woods, let me know. I have posted pictures of the house on my Flickr site, but have restricted the viewing to friends only to keep down the number of "tire kickers." If you would like to see them, leave me a comment and I can add you to the list.

So, there. I've said it in public so now I really will have to do it. Wish us the best.