Thursday, September 27, 2007

Autumn Leaves

I can't look out the window at this time of year without hearing this song sung by Eva Cassidy (it's a Johnny Mercer tune) inside my head. A year ago, I couldn't listen to it for it brought back too many memories. The CD of Eva singing this song, amongst others, was still in the CD player next to Carolyn's pillow. Today, it still brings tears to my eyes.

Fall is always a hard time for me because more than any other season, it makes me feel the cycle of birth, life, and death with such intensity. At the same time, I love to walk in the woods when the leaves have turned to all of their colors and start to drift down to the forest floor before the eventual blanket of snow covers them for the cold winter nights.

It is that time of year now. I have had a few days of walking in the woods and I have had those times too when I feel a sense of loss. Rather than dwelling on that though, I try to look beyond to the time when new leaves will appear on the branch ends and new opportunities will present themselves in our own cycles of birth, life, and beyond.

I am still working at discovering who I will be in this new part of my life. A parent for sure. Now I have two children in high school and one of those is starting to look at colleges. Next month, we will make our first trip to look at a prospective school in another state. It never ceases to amaze me that I am presented with these prospects, but there they are. I wonder what lies around the next corner?

As for now, we are looking forward and planning for those upcoming holidays, deciding where we will be and what we want to do when the school breaks come. In between, the dog and I will go for walks as the autumn leaves start to fall.

2 Comments:

Blogger Cheesy said...

I hear you darlin... this is my season of loss too... but I also rejoice that I had him for a good part of my life.

10:45 PM, September 27, 2007  
Blogger Kristie said...

That song is very special to me, also. I learned to play it before Antiguo died, but it took on a special poignancy after he left this world. There was a long while where I couldn't play it without falling apart half-way through. Now I sing it as a tribute.

Best wishes on whatever adventures come your way, P. I'm still rooting for you.

1:41 AM, September 28, 2007  

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