Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Cue Ball


OK, I did it. I couldn't stand the "stubble feel. So now, I am sporting a fine razor rash over most of the left side of my head. On the up side, I can wear my beret without worrying about it mussing up my hair. And while I am on the subject of hair, let me tell you why my recent experience argues against the existence of a kind and loving supreme being.

You see, in a world created and watched over my such a kind and loving consciousness, when your hair started falling out due to treatments like chemo, the first stuff to go would be those black tree trunks growing out of the tops of your ears. Next would be those hairs you find when you look in the mirror at some fancy reception. You know the ones. The ones that look like the hawsers off the Queen Mary that magically appeared hanging out of your nose. And all that time, you thought she was fascinated with what you were saying.

Next would be the melting of those unwanted love handles as your molested constitution shifted body mass around, producing those sculpted washboard bellies that stare at you out of the Sunday papers advertising underwear.

Then there is the issue of snow in April when I took my snow tires off on an eighty degree day in March. Somebody's just fucking with me.

10 Comments:

Blogger Sister Spikey Mace of Desirable Mindfulness said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

9:58 AM, April 11, 2007  
Blogger Sister Spikey Mace of Desirable Mindfulness said...

There was a typo. I couldn't deal.

The universe is snickering in the corner like a 15-year-old boy at its cruel joke. You know it is.

Don't forget sunscreen on your dome! You have a nice-shaped head.

9:59 AM, April 11, 2007  
Blogger Phaedrous said...

Hi, this is the author. OK, who's masquerading as me, removing perfectly good comments that I never saw?

It was probably someone telling me how good I was at someting.

Like spelling.

P.

10:01 AM, April 11, 2007  
Blogger Phaedrous said...

PS It's very bumpy.

10:02 AM, April 11, 2007  
Blogger lime said...

i'm beginning to wonder myself. i was apparently too jubilant about surviving easter without any bones protruding in ways they should not be and how good my back felt. the very next day i twisted into a pretzel for no damn good reason and now i can barely move. (insert every cuss word i know here.)

however, your smile made me smile so that's a good thing. thanks. and i agree with sister, if you have to be bald you at least look good bald.

bumpy head you say? can i offer you a free phrenological reading? lol

oh, and try some witch hazel right after you use the razor...might help prevent the rash. it doesn't burn.

11:49 AM, April 11, 2007  
Blogger Leesa said...

"Somebody's just fucking with me."
I know how you feel here. Never fails odd things happen to me when I'm home alone.
I feel like sometimes I must be on some blooper show being filmed and people are just crackin' up :)

7:56 PM, April 11, 2007  
Blogger Sister Spikey Mace of Desirable Mindfulness said...

I deleted my own. Blogger gives me that power. I exercised it. And I liked it. Ain't a thing you can do to stop me. All text was recreated, typo-free, in the subsequent comment, except for where I gushed in an unseemly manner about your own impeccable spelling. I thought better of it the emotional display. But now you know.

10:41 PM, April 11, 2007  
Blogger Cheesy said...

Amen Brudderman!
Ok the bumps around a nipple are braille for "please suck here"... what do the bumps on your head mean?? :o)

12:23 AM, April 13, 2007  
Blogger Beth said...

Yep! That does it for me! I'm convinced!

Does it count if I was already convinced before this post?

10:05 PM, April 15, 2007  
Blogger Crystal said...

That looks really, really good. Not many people can pull that look off, but you most certainly can.

In other words, Rowwwr.

10:22 PM, April 21, 2007  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home