Nite Blahs

Well, the girl is off on her big 10 day trip to North Carolina for a national conference on national affairs, followed up by a visit to Gettysburg and then NYC. Travel is all on a large coach that drives straight through with alternating drivers. She got herself all packed and organized IN TIME and without any parental prodding or assistance. Good for her.

Now it will just be us guys (sorry Sophie) batching it for a while.

Usually I prefer to have tales of our various family affairs to bore you with, but sometimes these pesky medical issues get in the way. This is one of those times.

I have been taken off of the experimental cancer drug due to low blood counts and hoped that yesterday's blood draw would show enough improvement to start up again. I continue to head in the right direction, but the counts are just barely too low to restart. So, I will have another sample drawn Monday or Tuesday and the results faxed down to the Mayo.

I am getting increasingly anxious about this because I am experiencing nightly bouts of night sweats and as of yesterday, low-grade fevers. This makes for a long and uncomfortable night.

I have also weened myself off of the sleep aides that I have been taking for the past two years. I was uncertain whether there were any long-term issues and decided to see if I could do without. I can, but it is a rocky path at the moment.

So, the past few nights have been marathon sessions of damp, twisted sheets, fever induced hallucinatory dreams, and frequent trips to the bathroom to empty an aging bladder. What a deal. I seem to be falling apart all at once, which from a design standpoint is not all bad. I struggle however in the acceptance of the process no matter how elegant it appears from a lofty, disengaged perspective.

Anyway, if I seem cranky to you, it's just due to lack of sleep, bad selections in Netflix movies (although I watched "Lars and the Reel Girl" last night and it was very touching), and sheer terror that I might have to finally face my mortality at last.