Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Sniff, Snort, Sneeze

I am officially a whining, sniveling, dripping, wheezing, sicko. I have “the bug.” I think I caught it from the internet. Or maybe one of my children. I don’t know.

What I do know is that none of us are sleeping around here. For the second time in a week, J has gotten up in the middle of the night and started preparing to go to school. Last night it was at about 2 AM. Last night, and on the previous occasion when he did this, I also woke up at about the same time. This is not so surprising in that my bedroom is on top of his and it is not too difficult to hear him moving around. I don’t remember any of that, but it makes for a less than restful night for both of us.

K also has been complaining of not being able to sleep well. She says she has a cold too. J always sounds like he has a cold these days as his voice is going through “the change.” What a household we are.

I don’t see how I can be sick this week. There is too much to do. Today I must bake bread. Tomorrow is a doctor appointment. Thursday is another doctor appointment and school conferences for both kids. Friday I check into an insane asylum. Just kidding, I am already living there.

Then there is all the stuff that needs doing that isn’t already on the official calendar. Food shopping, cooking, cleaning, taxes, car repair, etc. So, you see, I can’t afford this sick business.

I did come across one of those sure-fire cures for the common cold yesterday though and since I found it on the internet, it must be true. I have appended it below for your consideration.



I've got a very very bad cold at the moment, but, at the same time, I don't wont to take any medicine unless absolutely necessary, so here's my ancient fast remedy for a bad cold:

2 slices of bread
1 entire garlic
butter or margarine
freshly ground pepper
fresh parsley.

Peel and crush the garlic. Put a THICK slice of margarine or butter on both slices of bread, to the very edge of the slice. Cover both slices with ground pepper, then coat both slides with thinly chopped parsley. Put the crushed garlic on one slice, over it with the other slice.

Have a glass of your favorite cold drink on standby. An extremely fizzy lemonade will work miracles. Make sure there's plenty of room for you to move around in, do not eat it sitting down. Take the first bite, as soon as you feel the hit, eat the rest of the sandwich as quickly as possible. Run around a bit if you must, but don't give up, eat it all. Once eaten, rinse with your favorite drink.

Once your mouth, nose, eyes and ears have settled down, have a hot drink, and you'll notice that you feel 100% better all ready. Repeat the next day if necessary, however, normally, it only needs one course.

There are some issues with this home-style medicine though: Do not take it 1 hour before going to the opera, the movies, or, for that matter, out. If at all possible, sleep in the furthest room in your place, or perhaps the balcony, the first night. By the end of the second day, the garlic smell will stop permeating through your skin and you'll become socially acceptable again.

Some explanations: The parsley helps take the sting out of the garlic. The thick layer of butter/margarine helps protect your mouth from the garlic. The pepper helps in clearing the airways.


Blogger Sister Spikey Mace of Desirable Mindfulness said...

I think it IS going around on the internet. I blamed Os, even though I know it was that guy on the plane. Bastard. Sorry you're not feeling well, P. I dig that you make homemade bread weekly. How long have you been doing that?

9:18 AM, March 06, 2007  
Blogger barefoot_mistress said...

Just stopped by to wish you a lovely day, may it be wonderful, peaceful, and sweet.

10:45 AM, March 06, 2007  
Blogger lime said...

holy moses on a pogo stick did the house of lime infect you all. gads it's disgusting around here. i need them all to go to school so i can collapse and just feel cruddy alone, without demands from anyone.

oddly enough, the masseur i saw after injuring my back told me abotu a similar garlic cure for colds, mince up 3 cloves into an ounce of water and take it in one swallow. he swore by it. i was miserable and foolish enough to try it once.....ONCE.

feel better soon.

12:41 PM, March 06, 2007  
Blogger Cheesy said...

Dang I think I need to made a pasta dish to go with that lol.. feel better babe!

9:09 AM, March 07, 2007  
Blogger John Cowart said...

That home remedy must work wonders. I think I saw something close to it in a manuscript from the 1340s as a sure-fire plague preventative.

10:57 AM, March 07, 2007  
Blogger Beth said...

You know, I've heard of that remedy....somewhere.....and I'm STILL NOT TRYING IT!

Plus? I thought I already sprayed the Internet with that disinfectant I bought.

4:11 PM, March 07, 2007  

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