Bad Days

My son is having a bad day. He turned in a school assignment late and got half credit. The problem (or one of them) is that he first claimed the teacher made a mistake on entering the grade. Then, when pressed, he said that he didn't do it on time because he forgot to write it in his planner because he was under too much pressure because of "things at home", which when decoded means "my mother and father have cancer."

I have left the conversation because I am tired of him blaming us for his behavior. There is no doubt that having both parents suffering from terminal illness is a bummer, but that is not an excuse for not owning up to your own actions. The real pain for him is that we grounded him tonight and he can't go to the new Harry Potter movie with his cousin. This is what eats him tonight.

Cancer makes a convenient excuse for anything bad that occurs in our life. This kid is asked to go to school, do his homework, do his home chores (pretty light weight ones), wash the dinner dishes every other night (meaning - load them into the dishwasher), and not much else. Most of the time, he is a sweet, reasonably behaved young man. But when something goes wrong, it is never his responsiblility. It is due to "things at home." Man, how that gets to me.

I know that he is only 12 (thirteen in about eight weeks). He is struggling with all of the hormone hell that goes with this patch of growing. So, does that excuse him from responsibility? I don't think so, but I am finding a dearth of ways to get this particular lesson across.

Maybe I just need to trust that things will lighten up in a year (or eight) from now. I don't know.

Fuck. This is just a shitty set of circumstances.